As expected, the hardest part of moving has been leaving all of our family and friends behind. The first few weeks were especially difficult as we (mostly Penny and I) suddenly began to feel the very real void left behind where our community had once been. There were more than a few days of tears, but just as with any mourning period, each day got a little better. Instead of just feeling the loss of my close relationships, I began to look around me and seek out opportunities to build new friendships.
We've had some small victories, like several exchanged numbers at the local library storytime. I we delighted to have made a friend just after our very first visit to the library. Her name is Kim and she is absolutely a peach-- we have had almost weekly playdates since our first brief meeting at "Book Babies," which is much needed for Penny. She still seems to be confused and sad about the move at times, and especially misses having lots of friends her age. So we are learning how to make new friends together.
But a community cannot be built instananeously, and making new friends does not make us miss our old ones less. So when Micah told me my birthday present was paying for half of the air fare to fly out my dear friend Bethany for a weekend visit, I was thrilled. Penny and I (who also adores Bethany) made a paper chain to count down the days until her arrival. And when we finally ripped off the final ring we had decorated with red glitter and it was time to pick her up at the airport, I discovered the hidden blessing in living apart: joy of friendship intensifed.
Bethany lived upstairs from us at our apartment in Portland with her husband, Ted. We joked about how it felt like we sometimes lived in a college dorm because we always had friends at hand to goof off with. Most weeks included a meal together and more than several late-night desserts. We didn't clean up our houses for each other, we shared crazy ideas, laughed often, and missed each other if one of us was gone for the weekend. This was much more than the "can-I-borrow-a-cup-of-sugar" neighbor. This was more like the "Can-you-drive-me-to-the-hospital-and-attend-my-second-daughter's-birth" kind of neighbor. There is no way to replace the experience we had together, but we knew it would not last forever. But having Ted and Bethany as upstairs neighbors will probably be one of the best memories of my life and some of the people we miss the most.
But though that magical era has ended in our lives, I discovered during Bethany's weekend visit how much more you appreciate friends when you only have 36 hours to enjoy their company. I was so giddy to pick her up that we ended up driving aimlessly on the freeway as I missed our exit a number of times (adding about an hour to our commute) while we chatted away. The next few days we filled with site seeing, amazing conversations, laughter, and good food. I didn't take Bethany for granted when she lived upstairs, but being without a community of friends made me so appreciative to be with someone who knew me well and that I could be completely relaxed with. It was much different than simply seeing someone you haven't seen in a while and missed- it truly fed my soul. Best birthday present ever :)
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